The Lost and The Lonely
by Dawnatella
Summary: COMPLETED---Part of the Tamara series.- Donatello's daughter remises about some unanswered questions.


The Lost and The Lonely  
  
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Josh Billings (1818 - 1885)  
  
*~*  
I simply cannot grasp the concept. As to why a mother would ever  
abandoned her daughter.  
When I was a young child I asked about her. I wanted to know things,  
that I never got answers for.  
When I tried to get simple information about the woman that gave birth  
to me, they always shut me out. I know that it sounds dumb, but I feel as though there is a hole in my heart. As a child I sometimes cried my self to sleep at night, because I didn't have a mother.  
No matter how many times my father tells me 'I love you.'  
I still want to see my mother.  
Just a glimpse would be nice. It would give me some sort of closer I  
suppose. In a weird way though, I know that it will never happen.  
This is because of the way that my father, and the rest of my family  
react when I talk about her. I can tell that my mother must have really done some damage to my father. He hates to even here her 'name' mentioned. The truth is my dad cries about her still. I over here him whimpering some times and it's the most heart breaking sound in the world. I sometimes forget that my dad is doing the best he can and that sometimes he breaks as well.  
  
I have my dad on this really high pedestal in my mind.  
He could never do wrong. He doesn't even really like fighting and only  
does so when it's his last resort. I'm like him in that since.  
  
Even though I have learned the martial arts. I do not enjoy the thrill of being able to be more powerful then my opponent. My Uncle Raphael sure does though. I can not tell you how many times Uncle Raph has gotten in to a fight with Uncle Leonardo and stormed out of our home. Sometimes being gone for weeks at a time.  
  
None of us really worry about it though. He's always been really angry  
at the world and Uncle Leo.  
And there isn't really any thing we can do about it either.  
I guess anger and emotional problems run in our family.  
Uncle Leo is often quiet and serene when it comes to his emotions.  
He's not afraid to cry or feel sorrow.  
  
At the same time though, he doesn't make a big scene about it all.  
Uncle Raphael as I said before is very angry. He hurts so much because  
humans do not acknowledge people that are different.  
They are very easily afraid of any thing that is abnormal to them.  
Uncle Mike is like a big kid. He likes to tell funny stories and make  
people laugh. The two of us are always telling goofy stories and jokes  
between each other.  
As for my dad I think he is as lost as I Am.  
  
Not fully understanding why the people we love put us through so much  
pain.  
But then I never had hands on experience with my mother. So I don't  
really know what she is like.  
My father and his family named me Josephine. They call me Jo and Josie  
for short. I am a rat like my mom is.  
Even though I have never seen her before. I know that I look exactly  
like her.  
  
It's obvious because I'm not a turtle like my dad and my uncles.  
But a rat like my mother and my grandfather. I am shorter then my  
grandfather and more feminine looking.  
I have blond fur that looks like gold when it shines on a bright lamp  
or the sun.  
  
I also have several white patches on my body.  
Most of the times I where a kimono or street cloths sometimes.  
  
The old clothes once belonged to April O'Neil.  
I am twenty-three years old and I am no closer in knowing any thing  
about my mother. Then when I was six years old.  
My favorite color is cornfield blue. I like to read Hemingway and  
Charles Dickson.  
My favorite movie is Filed of Dreams and I like the violin.  
I am like every one else.  
The only difference is that I am a mutated rat that is loved by many  
people.  
At the same time though, I fall in the category. Of The lost and the  
lonely.  
  
*~*  
  
if i smile and don't believe  
  
soon i know i'll wake from this dream  
  
don't try to fix me i'm not broken  
  
hello i'm the lie living for you so you can hide  
  
don't cry  
  
Hello- Evanescence  
  
The End 


End file.
